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Star Wars Drinking Game

The rules are pretty simple here, but I'll give you a brief summary...

Rule 1: Drink when required (see list below).
Rule 2: Get drunk.

That's it. Now I'm not telling you to drink until you die or to drive home after you get drunk (disclaimer) but please have a good time...and get drunk.

Drink when...

Anyone and Everyone...

  • Someone has a bad feeling about this...

  • It's their only hope

  • Somebody gets choked

  • A woman other than Leia is on screen

  • An old Jedi starts to ramble about the Force (Vader counts)

  • Somebody's hand gets cut off

  • A gigantic technological marvel explodes in a single blast

  • There is a tremor in the Force

  • It's not someone's fault

  • One or more heroes are almost eaten by a Thing

  • A Jedi is much more powerful than he looks

  • Someone exclaims "No!"

  • Someone does something apparently suicidal that turns out to be a good idea
    * Twice if it's not Han

  • Someone wears the same outfit in all three movies--it counts if  they change at the end

  • Someone is mind-controlled using the Force

  • People kiss

  • A good guy wears white or a bad guy wears black
    * Twice if a bad guy wears white and a good guy wears black (for uniforms, only the first person on screen counts)
    * Three times if someone hovering in between wears gray

  • Every time you find yourself talking to the people on screen

  • An elaborately made up alien has no lines

  • Some ship crashes into something after being hit

  • An Ewok dies, and the camera  lingers longer than it did when the Death Star exploded, killing billions of people (fourteen seconds, count 'em!)

  • Someone has a light saber duel (includes just using light saber)

  • Boba Fett talks

  • An entire planet is described as having one climate

C-3PO

  • C-3PO loses a body part
    * Twice if he is completely dismembered

  • C-3PO informs us of just how many forms of communication he's familiar with

  • Nobody listens to C-3P0's advice
    * Twice if he is giving the odds of survival

CHEWBACCA

  • Actually sounds like he's using words, not just one long howl

DARTH VADER
  • Vader runs into one of his kids and doesn't recognize them
    * Twice if he tries to kill them

  • Vader's suit gets more and more detailed in each movie 

THE EMPEROR
  • The Emperor cackles evilly

  • The Emperor has foreseen something

THE EMPIRE
  • Tarkin brags about the Death Star

  • Any officer speaks with a British Accent

  • Any Imperial Ship is destroyed

  • A TIE fighter explodes for no reason

  • An imperial bureaucrat says something disparaging or elitist (i.e. "rebel scum", "insignificant rebellion", etc.)

HAN SOLO
  • Han brags about the Millennium Falcon

  • Anybody insults the Millennium Falcon
    * Twice if it is Leia

  • Something doesn't work on the Falcon
    * Twice if it's the hyperdrive 

  • Someone or something tries to get money from Han

PRINCESS LEIA
  • Leia wears an outfit that covers everything except her face and hands
    * Twice if it covers her neck
    * Three times if she's almost totally nude

  • Leia insults somebody 

LUKE SKYWALKER
  • It is Luke's destiny

  • Luke whines

  • Luke discovers a long-lost relative

  • Luke fights monsters or savages

  • Luke does some nifty acrobatic flip

  • Luke teeters on the brink of a chasm

  • Luke and Lando are in the same place at the same time
    * Twice if they speak to each other

  • Luke is upside-down

  • Luke's parentage is Foreshadowed

  • Luke refuses to take someone's advice

  • Luke yells "R-two!"

  • Luke is confused / taken aback

OBI-WAN
  • Obi-Wan Kenobi materializes for a guest appearance

  • Obi-Wan Kenobi plays detective ("...Only imperial stormtroopers are so precise")

R2-D2
  • R2-D2 gets thrashed

  • R2-D2 plugs into the wrong socket and his head spins around

REBEL PILOTS
  • A Rebel pilot is of a race other than white
    * Twice if they're non human

  • A Rebel Pilot says "Nice Shot..." (co-pilots count)

  • Wedge (the only Rebel pilot competent enough to make it through all 3 movies- besides the main characters) makes an appearance
    * Twice if he speaks

  • A Rebel Pilot says, "I've been  hit..."

STORMTROOPERS
  • Stormtroopers shoot everywhere but where they're aiming

  • Stormtrooper armor proves useless

YODA
  • Yoda uses bad grammar

  • Yoda talks like a fortune cookie

(The Star Wars Drinking Game compiled and translated to HTML by Jeff Schell 11/05/95, edited by Patrick H. Benzaleski 08/15/99, for grammatical correctness and ease of reading)


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Please, for the sake of Conte Cult's survival!

(...all we're askin' for is a measly
buck or two you cheeeep bastard!)

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