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1. Your ass is never a factor in a
job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of
themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to
stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the
truth.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if
someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your
pubic area.
10. Same work .. more pay.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
12. You don't have to leave the
room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux
rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in
a canteen.
15. People never glance at your
chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister,
or mangle your feet.
17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
18. Phone conversations are over
in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day vacation requires
only one suitcase.
20. You can open all your own
jars.
21. You get extra credit for the
slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. Your underwear is $10 for a
three-pack.
23. If you are 34 and single,
nobody notices.
24. You can quietly enjoy a car
ride from the passenger's seat.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more
than enough.
26. You can quietly watch a game
with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at
me."
27. No maxi-pads.
28. If another guy shows up at
the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
29. You are not expected to know
the names of more than five colors.
30.You don't have to stop and
think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
31. You are unable to see
wrinkles in clothes.
32. The same hairstyle lasts for
years, maybe decades.
33. Your belly usually hides your
big hips.
34. One wallet and one pair of
shoes, one color, all seasons.
35. You can "do" your
nails with a pocketknife.
36. Christmas shopping can be
accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
37.The world is your urinal.
BONUS:
Ten Things men know for sure about women.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. They have breasts.
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