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Las Vegas, NV
April 21-26, 2005

04/21/05 Thursday
VEGAS at it's BEST BABY! The Hard Rock Hotel & Casino...what more can you say?!? As you probably already know, Melissa and I take a trip to Las Vegas at LEAST once a year, to celebrate our Bachelor/Bachelorette party of 2002. This year we decided to take along a 'lil 'entourage' of some friends who missed the original excursion...

Oh, and we were so excited about being there, that on our first day we neglected to take ANY pictures...

This one (of Melissa and Raquel having a well-deserved 'pig-out' after their lengthy fast) is courtesy of the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino's Pool Cam (where we stayed and ALWAYS stay...). It's fucking awesome. If you can't be there, you CAN BE there, take dirty pictures while you're at it, and leave snide little remarks, so wherever the hidden photographer left a comment, I'll be sure to quote the perv and highlight the quote in aqua...kinda like the way I take my own pictures and leave nasty comments on THIS site...;)


04/22/05 Friday
Here we are, up bright and early at 9:00 AM, setting up our spot by the pool...my FAVORITE spot...right between the bar and the bathroom...the perfect spot...where ALL the ass funnels throughanother pic courtesy of some pervert following our antics...

Thursday night was mainly uneventful...we all went to dinner at AJ'S Steakhouse in the hotel...this guy 'Rod' (Stiffington, as Patrick liked to call him...) we met at the tables invited himself to dinner with us...Lisa entertained us by showing off her piano skills in the restaurant...Patrick got an upset stomach at dinner after eating a bunch of candy (back in the room while waiting for Lissa to to get ready) and went back to the room early to recover...everyone called it an early night actually, after the loooong day of boozing it up by the pool...Melissa and Patrick woke up around 1 am though and hung around the 'Circle Bar' in the center of the Hard Rock casino for a few hours and played some BlackJack...


Raquel and Jeffrey getting settled in by the pool...


"Make sure you get my back good while I drink...I mean HOLD your beer, honey..."


Animals! Sucking down $13 Tiki Men drinks already...it's ONLY 10:07 AM for cryin' out loud!

This is gonna be a LONG (and expensive) 6 days...


Melissa and Stephanie, deep in toe talk......


Raquel, on her 5th Tiki Man drink already...and it's only 10:10 AM!!!


Ahh, a group shot...see? The pervs aren't all about taking pictures of tits and snatches and ass...


Whoops...spoke too soon...back to the tit shots...

Pervert Cam quote by 'mmm': nice (wow, THAT one took a lot of thought...no shit, Sherlock...)


Jeff, Raquel, Lissa and Patrick, poolside...

Pervert Cam quote by (unsigned): Do you think my cleavage is nice?? (Yes, Raquel...we ALL think your cleavage is nice...even the pervs behind the webcams...awesome, actually...so don't even THINK about implants...)

so...what do you think about my ASS?!?


)Another group shot (left to right)...Jeff (far left), Patrick (with the stubborn love handles), Raquel (with the spectacular boobs), Melissa's legs, Stephanie and Lisa...


Lisa, de-pants-ing herself...

Pervert cam quote by (unsigned by some illiterate in the Midwest probably): Strech baby, streach! (I think he mighta meant to say 'stretch', but who knows with these illiterate mid-westerns...)


10:44 in the AM...


Melissa and Stephanie, discussing quantum physics as they are apt to do from time to time...

I tell ya, if not for this Pervert/Pool Cam we probably wouldn't have any pictures up here...


Oh, look! We WOULD have some pictures up here without the damn pool cam...I busted out the friggin' camera finally! And what a great first picture of two of the hottest chicks in Vegas (well, for THAT week, anyway...)

Melissa and Raquel, standing in the taxi line outside the Hard Rock...


Jeff, Melissa and Raquel...we're on our way to The Palms in STYLE...no taxis for us, LIMOS is how we ride...


Finally...we get past the ridiculous line and up to the 55th floor of the Palms to GhostBar, where within seconds, the lushes accompanying Jeff and I have drinks in their hands...


Isn't it amazing how after you meet a person, and during the course of a few days you have drinks with them, a few in-depth conversations about politics, and generally get to know them that you STILL can't remember their real fucking name?!? Case in point, here we have (l to r) "Cock", Raquel (and her boobs), Melissa and Jeff...


Another example of the name-game: Jeff here sharing a drink with Raquel's 'cousin' (what's his name you ask? I have no fucking idea...)


Raquel, Melissa and Jeff, who's apparently had nothing to eat all day and has his eyes on Melissa's glass...


Raquel with Raquel's 'cousin' (what's his name you ask again? Again, I have no fucking idea...) 


Hmmm...I dunno who's more drunk at this point: shit-eating-grin Jeff or smushed-lookin' Melissa...and it's only 11:15 PM... 


Here's the newly engaged, happy couple... 


...and here's the going-on-3-years happily married couple...

How red is Patrick's nose...?


...and the going-on-3-years happily married couple with their new friend, "I don't do threesomes" Shannon...


A shot of the view from the patio...I know it's blurred, I didn't know how to handle these kinds of shots until Monday night...


Here we are looking like a bunch of stupid tourists standing on that stupid see-thru acrylic floor looking down at a very long fall... 


Geez, that girl has a long tongue...woulda came in handy...


Stephanie and her new friend John Cho, of American Pie 'MILF' fame, also known for his lead role of Harold in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle...a great guy who didn't complain about anyone wanting to take a picture with him, but when he was talking with Melissa and learned she was married, he took off like a rat out of an aqueduct; that shows good morals...


Boy, this girl Shannon is a firecracker...too much for Lisa apparently, judging from the look on her face...


Isn't this nice? Jersey girls and D.C. girls having a drink together... 


Ok, we've known each other for about 10 minutes now and seen each other's tongues numerous times...I think that's long enough, let's tongue wrestle...


Awww, Shannon's poor hetero friend is sad because she's the only girl not tonguing (is that how you spell it?) down other girls...

Her attitude isn't slowing Shannon down, as you can see...


Melissa, Jen and Chrissy, who looks like she hasn't had a drink in 6 months... 


Patrick, Jen and Lis... 

"Who turned the lights on?!?"


Jen and Lis...

We TRIED to get the Vegas 'skyline' in the background...all we got was the bar and a light or two... 


Patrick and the Jersey girls, Melissa (l to r), Jen and Chrissy...


Lisa (l to r), Jen and Lissa...

Yes, Melissa is having a good time...


A 'lil three-way kiss between (l to r) Patrick, Chrissy and Lisa...


Jen (l to r), Lisa, Lissa and Chrissy...


I'm not even gonna say anything about this picture. They asked me to take it, so I took it...retards. Oh wait, notice the cigarette...would ya get with the program and quit smokin' already?!?


04/23/05 Saturday
Melissa, Chrissy and Jen, havin' a drink at Body English, the relatively new club (formerly Baby's) at the Hard Rock...we were gonna go to Rain for the evening, but since Jen and Chrissy made the trip over from The Palms to meet us, we figured, "What the heck", might as well stay and check out the new place...if it sucked we could always just jump in a cab and proceed with our original plan...

No pool pictures today (if ya didn't figure it out already on your own)...the pervs musta been checkin' out a new porn site or something...either that or the girls must have looked particularly fat and ugly on Saturday...


Raquel and Lissa getting their drink on already...

Loving that "free" feeling, huh Quel...?


Photo-op with my wife while I'm still relatively not-smashed looking...


Nothing particularly interesting about this picture, I just thought the chick with the white skirt was hot...


The light/fog-show...


A random shot of the crowd, including the VIP area where Melissa would try and make out with Eliza Dushku later on that night...and be DENIED!

Ask Melissa about it, it's too long of a story for me to type and I've typed enough already...


During the evening Melissa had the opportunity to meet one of her favorite TV stars, Deputy "Jonesy" Jones (Cedric Yarbrough) of Reno 911! fame...

Jonesy! We thought you hated white girls...?!?


Melissa (l to r), Jen and her new 'friend', and Chrissy's 'friends'...


Melissa and Jen discussing new dance moves..."This is called the 'Funky Chicken'..."


Raquel, checking out the crowd, and Jeff, looking like a deer in the headlights...


Whoa! Talk about new dance moves...


Lis and Raquel, taking a break from their dance fervor...


Take a break girls, and let the PROS show you how it's done...hey, is that a snizzatch I see?!?

That chick on the bottom right is sooooo friggin' hot...when SHE was on the bar dancing I didn't get any pics...I was in a Goddamn trance watching her...she's on the Body English website, as part of the site, so she must be special...what am I saying...she IS friggin' special...see now, if Pat O'Brien was leaving a message on THIS girl's voicemail, then I TOTALLY understand...


Back at the Hard Rock Circle Bar at around 4:15 AM and we run into a bachelorette party wearing surgical gloves...and what do you do when you run into such a group...?


Get a rectal exam of course!


04/24/05 Sunday 10:50 AM
Breakfast time at Mr. Lucky's 24/7...


We travel 2530.7 miles in an attempt to escape the hustle and bustle of everyday life, to party hard and then relax poolside AFTER a night of partying hard, and what do we run into? A bunch of boisterous, obnoxious, FTL-poolside-wearing Staten Islander's...I mean, it was like there was a guy standing on Arthur Kill Road handing out free airline tickets to Vegas...what, the two SI'ers we brought with us weren't enough...?!?


Early afternoon, hangin' in the center pool...taken by: jb, FL...

Hmmm...where the fuck am I?!? Playin' BlackJack probably...and losing probably...


A meeting of the minds...another fine shot taken by: jb, FL...


Pervert cam quote by The Snoop, Scottsdale, AZ: please Master, I promise to be a good girl

Hmmm...I didn't know Steph was a sub...always thought of her as more of the domme...


A little later on in the day, hangin' with some of NY's finest...

Drinkin' water Raquel? What, no more Tiki man drinks? I TOLD ya six days was too damn long...and this is only day FOUR!!!


Steph and Lis, comparing bathing suits...


Lis and Lisa, out at RumJungle, because the Goddamn House of Blues was frikkin' closed for some reason unbeknownst to us...


Steph and her new friend from STATEN ISLAND...he was there with Raquel's "Cousin"'s gang...

Unbelievable, I tell ya, the number of friggin' SIers there...


Melissa and Stephanie...awww, look...they're in love...


Everytime we go somewhere with Stephanie, she makes me take a picture of her by herself, doin' some kind of sexy pose...I dunno why...you gotta ask her...


...and then she's gotta take a sexy picture with Melissa, and Melissa always looks geeky in it, either because of a cheezed up smile, or because of her giraffe neck...


Melissa, chillin' listenin' to tunes...


Melissa and Patrick, making a rare cameo together...

Anyways, after hanging out at RumJungle for about an hour or so, we made our way over to The Hotel at Mandalay Bay to meet with Jen and Chrissy, and to check out Mix, one of the many new hotspots in Vegas...unfortunately we arrived late (midnight?!?), and they weren't allowing anyone else up to the lounge...so we just waited downstairs for the girls...when they got downstairs, we shot over to the Bellagio to hit Light...Light was jumpin' and it was fun watching Lisa try to bum cigarettes off of people in VIP areas that paid thousands of dollars to be away from the regular crowd...lol

Stephanie chatted with the DJ and learned that he lived right around the block from where she works and knows all the same people she does...

After light, played some blackjack at Bellagio with the girls, and after Chrissy lost some scratch, we left off to our respective hotels for the remainder of the evening...


04/25/05 Monday
Just after noon poolside, Lisa and Raquel cooling off their tootsies...

This Pervert cam picture is courtesy of scooter...


Raquel and Lisa, discussing Staten Island politics, at around 1pm...

Photo courtesy of SEA...


Almost 2pm now, time for lunch...

Another quality Peeping Tom shot by Peeping SEA...


A little after 2:00 and we find Melissa and Jen relaxin' poolside...


Time for a water break...


Pervert Cam picture taken at 2:30 by i spy, tx: let's give'em a show they'll never forget!.. ha ha ha


A quarter to 3 in the afternoon...

Raquel catching some last sun...

Thanx for the webcam shot pony...


Ok, here's a true Pervert cam quote by mR: Love those black triangles!!!


Now, THIS is a GREAT quote: Still showing some of that Christmas ham honey -- shed it off babe!

LOL...unfortunately for the author, it was unsigned...can't give ya props if ya don't sign it...:(


"Oye, we gotta do this whole 'party-all-night' thing all over AGAIN TONIGHT?!?" Yes Lis, just one more time before we head home...

Webcam shot by kd...

 


Most of the gang dipping their tootsies in the pool next to the bar...


Foundation Room, on the top of Mandalay Bay...

Now THIS is how you end a Vegas weekend...out on the patio, chillin' with a couple of martinis, overlooking the town...


Check the pop-up timers on these turkeys, I think they're DONE! lol


Patrick and Steph, enjoying a drink together...

Steph lookin' like she's feelin' gooooood...


Steph, Lis and Jen...


Steph and Lis...

(as if you can't tell, I'm running out of witty commentary...I need some content to work with, for cryin' out loud!)


Ahhhh, some content...

Jen, with her makeover face on, and Lissa...


Boy Jen, that's some makeover ya got there...I like it though, it's different, bold...now why don't you go back to your home on WHORE ISLAND!


And Chrissy in da house with HER makeover face on...


One last midnight (more like 4 am) snack at Mr. Lucky's 24/7...


04/26/05 Tuesday
WHO is THIS girl?!? We met her by the hot tub where she was talking about sex and drugs...her name is Rebecca and she's from Wisconsin, now living in Vegas...BUT...I gather she is some sort of 'celebrity' (and I use that term loosely), and I say that because I saw her earlier signing a photograph for a Hard Rock employee...none of us could figure out who the hell she was...oh well, probably just another pornstar...

One last pic/quote from the weekend Pervert cam: Then you grab the fish in your teeth and shake it like this. Survival of the fittest, baby!


Lis and Raquel posing for one last pic...


Lis and Chris catching some last Vegas rays before our plane ride home...


Here ya are Lisa, your girl Madonna...

See ya in a few months...boo hoo hoo ;)


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